Please, please, don’t be beating yourself up for feeling grief. Not only does that not shorten the pain, it can create a mixture of guilt and grief that is excruciating. So, please be cutting yourself some slack – you are human and you have lost someone you loved. But that was very careless, wasn’t it? Where did you put them, you silly, forgetful thing? Oh, there they are – deep in your heart. They weren’t lost after all.
It is only illusion that you have lost someone or that indeed, you were ever separate from them. We are one. You will always have the experiences you shared, and – though many religions talk about meeting your loved ones in heaven when you die – the truth is we are our loved ones then, and even now.
Until you can accept this important truth, be gentle with yourself: get lots of rest and take time to be with your friends, perhaps sharing an Eelec-trical Banana Split (or some great lasagna or other comfort food). Write a letter to the deceased (your other self) and let them know what’s happening in your life. They will be very glad to hear from you. Look around you for their response. It’s there, in the laughter of children, in a parent patiently tying a child’s shoes, in a woodland walk, or the ocean itself. Be patient, and look...
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